Sasuke Rising (28) Spoilerific Review - Part 3

We have a new Sasuke opening!

PART THREE

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Sasuke spoilerific review ;) Warning.. incoming blog of Sasuke 28.. if you don’t want to know.. you have been warned :D (Just remember.. the USA Broadcast of this.. will be.. well never possibly.  I don't know if we will ever see it.. Yes.. you read that right.. Now with the death of G4 official and NBC not giving a damn about Sasuke Japan.. we may never see Sasuke Rising on US television (or any overseas country for that matter unless everyone buys the original 3 1/2 hour broadcast from TBS). For a preview of this event.. Please see SASUKE Rising (28) NAVI a 1 hour review of Sasuke Rising with fluff pieces of all the major players in the upcoming Sasuke and even a couple of runs that were cut from the official broadcast!

UBE'S Sorta-LIVE-BLOG FOR SASUKE 28 IS HERE!

 (Massive thanks to TBS for posting the names of all 100 competitors!  Thanks to Ube for his help on the names in English!!)

The Leader of the Dynamic Trio of Death!!! but wait.. he's solo this time.. they didn't invite the other 2 guys..
Mr. Octopus (Tako Tencho (btw Tako is Japanese for "Octopus" and Tencho 店長 means "Store manager")) - Minoru Kuramochi 倉持稔

And ever since that face sucking incident.. Now Tako Tencho uses non-violent ways of playing with his food.. BODY PAINT!

Does every household in Japan have a tilted down picture??? Is there some cultural significance?

I see a child dangling!

P.S.  WHY is box girl there.. anyway.. Seems Kuramochi is showing how strong he is by having his grandson dangle off his bicep

And Grandpa can climb up rope!

Seems he can outdo his grandson! LOL

Ooooooh TBS chart.. LOL

A SCROLLING Suckitude Chart™

He's never made is past the First stage.. ever.. 

All the while Grandpa is showing up the kid by swinging off the rings

And his dismount flubbed when he falls backwards on his keister

How embarrassing.. LOL

Well I was wondering why there were suddenly disappearing eyebrows.. he's sucking them out of the universe onto his face..

Ooooh he tried to hang on but totally sliding down!

Minoru Kuramochi 倉持稔 - Death by Quintuple Steps

... wtf.. drag queens?

OMG the name!!!

Drew Barybarymoabetta ドリュー・バリバリモアベター 

I'm sorry did you expect better? LOL

Drew Barybarymoabetta ドリュー・バリバリモアベター - Death by Quintuple Steps

Yay! It's Spazzy time!

okay I'm Reaaaaaaaally tired of the picture in picture of the box girl..

Kazuma Asa 朝一眞 one of the Shin Sedai (新世代) literally "New Generation"

Way back the first year I started blogging this guy finally made it to Sasuke.  It was in 2008 when he failed at the Warped Wall in Sasuke 21

He made a return in Sasuke 27 wearing the same kanji on his back!

Known for his usual outbursts and yells

Oh and his pants!

Sasuke 27 marked the first time he passed the first stage

Because I can.. oh and because Asa is a HUGE All-star fan (Nagano specifically)

That was a pretty long fluff piece (I cut most of it because it was already covered in Navi)

The sun is going down and the lights are all up

魂：meaning spirit or soul, so his back is meant to read "The spirit of Sasuke" or "The soul of Sasuke"

Kazuma Asa 朝一眞

Do you have unsightly zits?

How about so much gas that you need a sumo to help stamp out the stench?

Okay we are back!  First of the New Generation to go! (Well technically 2nd because Kouji was one.. before this tourney started.. just sayin..)

Easily past the steps

easily past the snail

Flying across the balls with no issues!

WHOOT  Just fine on the Jump Hang Kai

man this is a time sink.. doing it's job folks.. doing it's job

YEAH!!!!!!!!  Up the first wall with zero issues

actually using the fireman pole

YES!!!!!!! ONE SHOT UP THE WALL!!!

Asa celebrating that he didn't waste time on the wall as with years past

HERDS of time at the Tarzan Rope

caught it pretty high too!

Already smiling as he has almost 20 seconds to walk across the plank!

emphatic end to a GREAT RUN!!

GIVE IT TO ME BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...................... seriously.. this has to stop..

btw did you notice that they are corralling all the friends? No more going up the walkways.  Last year his friend on the right gave him a bear hug near the exit of the First stage.

And there was much rejoicing

As Ryo gets up for a standing ovation!

but wait.. Yamada is not happy..

Nope.. Mr. Sasuke does not approve.. and just when I thought the lobotomy was working..

Asa spazzing around like a mexican jumping bean as TBS reminds us 58 down.. 2 clears!

didn't waste as much time on this as the previous clear guy

emphatic and decisive on the walls

and why I like him.. He's TOTALLY channeling Kongu here.. especially since TBS didn't find it fit to invite him again.. /sigh I miss Kenji Takahashi.. /cries.. anyway.  Asa is doing the Kongu roar for me!

Listen old man.. can't you be HAPPY for someone to clear this course?

Yeah yeah.. I'm really happy he cleared.. just .. envious..

that bastard.. he made it look easy.. oh.. to be young again..

Kazuma Asa 朝一眞 - FIRST STAGE CLEAR!!!!

That awkward moment in the interview where you need to excuse yourself while you hack a lung..

Meanwhile Kinnikun measuring the gap on the steps..

Screw the steps I'm more worried about stepping over balls...

yeah those.. that's what Nagano is worried about... it's already taken out a finalist

oh great. .it's him.. we've seen this idiot before.. Taizou Sugimura 杉村太蔵 some former politician turned talento

and.. uhm.. he's wasted 6 seconds just .. standing there doing .. nothing..

hey idiot you have to move.. 

oooooooooh it's that poor reporter girl!  She was forced to run the course dressed as a flower.. LOL

and while no one is laughing he's wasting more time celebrating his steps clear and killing time..

that's a relief... he didn't last long on that..

serves him right!

Taizou Sugimura 杉村太蔵 - Death by Rolling Escargot

er.. giving birth???

Takeo Seto 勢登健雄 (the one on the bottom)

and off the snail as well!

he tried.. faceplant and everything trying to stay on..

Takeo Seto 勢登健雄 - Death by Rolling Escargot

His partner is appropriately shocked.

Prepare to fast forward!

Ryuichi Ohura 大浦龍宇一 - Death by Quintuple Steps

Mental note.. kids on the course will make you fail!

Kenji Yoshizaki 吉崎研二 - Death by Rolling Escargot

Tatsumi Mikado 御門辰巳 - Death by Quintuple Steps

Oh hey this was the guy from the original trailer!

Shunsuke Tanaka 田中俊輔 - Death by Jump Hang Kai

Hisashi Kashima 加島久士 - Death by Jump Hang Kai

and they were displeased..

wait.. is she holding up a tank with a SNAKE IN IT??

Entirely possible!  He's a Zookeeper!
Koji Fujinami 藤波浩司 - Death by Spin Bridge

Hah! She's laughing at her father's demise.  I like her!

Okay good.. the less annoying Iketani.  Better than his really annoying brother.

Recap of his last failures in Sasuke 24 he died on the Warped Wall

Sasuke 27 he managed to return again to the Second Stage only to die to the Double Salmon Ladder

And since Muscle Musical went bankrupt as well when Monster 9 was taken down.. he had to start from scratch!

He's now producer of Samurai Orchestra

And he brought along his family.

Oh! Not noted in there - middle girl with the hat on!

Co-Kunoichi 8 Champion Satomi Kadoi 門井 佐登美 - It's a shame I hated the format of the 8th Kunoichi tournament

Co-World Record holder in Monster Box Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹

And the prerequisite starting line flip (see? No timer is up. I'm okay with that)

I can't express how incredibly slow he is doing this.. he's trying to stay on..

but the snail just.. stops and he drops right off it

Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹 - Death by Rolling Escargot

Aahahhahahaha the kids all want to take a look at their father inside the water so they are pushing each other out of the way

meanwhile there's pandemonium and high pitch squeals..

I still don't know his wife's name LOL

TBS reminding us these are our only two clears

And Naoki explaining how he fell off the snail

LOL Asa looks MORTIFIED

Hey I like that blouse she's wearing.. anyway.. Asa looks sooooooo out of his element he genuinely looks frightened of every question..

so.. you want to get into my pants?

wtf did he just say? He wants to what? Dude that's MY territory..

Meanwhile Asako Ito is saying a joke

which is wordplay..

which I don't know..

but he finds funny so it's all good

and so does Shingo

yes.. they asked him to flex his boobs..

those might remember Kinnikun from earlier Sasuke tourneys

after a few years break though he went out early on the Rolling escargot sporting some reaaaaally inappropriate Daisy Dukes with no underwear..

long montage of him training with weights

Kinnikun and Wakky doing a comedy routine.  Even though he has those Daisy Dukes he put underwear on this time..

Oh hello there Announcer change.

Veteran announcer Keisuke Hatsuta 初田 啓介 is back ya'll!

Yes PLEASE Keep HIM.  I hate Ogasawara..

It's now all dark and colder.. 80 done and only 2 clears!

Comedian Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君

This time taking this obstacle seriously

and he jumps off!

and safely across the spin bridge!! WOW I did NOT expect that..

HOLY CRAP HE'S ON FIRE! wtf...

yay.. he has underwear now or this would be .. er.. yeah..

Flying up the first wall

using the fireman  pole

and.. up the.. nooooo he's not even close..

geez.. does EVERYONE have Descente gear?  You guys would be dead right now if this was a legit drinking game..

Takeda actually animated and Yamada must have been slapped as he's now saying stuff

and they see this in slow motion.. as they wait out the remaining 30 seconds until he times out..

he's trying though.. gotta give him props..

trying to muster some sort of energy for another run..

oooooh almost.. almost there..

Wakky trying his best to will him over as they are both former Sportsman #1 Celeb winners

He tried again!

He's so friggin' tired..

He tried again!!!!!

AND AGAIN!  Okay.. I take back what I said before about him. That was a valiant effort.

seems he's genuinely gutted

Wakky feeling it..

He still hasn't moved.. but he should be proud.. I didn't even think he'd get that far..

He tried so hard and kept running to see if he could make it.

Comedian Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君 - Death by Time up on the Double Warped Wall

Sasuke All-stars doing a pep talk in front of the cameras

Takeda wants a handshake

you want a what??

seriously? I'm not up next so wtf..

is he secretly telling me that's what my fate is going to be?  That bastard..

because TBS NOW interviews Ryo!

OMG THEY ARE ADORABLE!  Who's kids are they?

Yay!  Mika Izumi.. no wait.. that's a different last name..

Awwwwwww she's so cute!  She's whispering in Mommy's ear!

and yeah.. if anyone is going to flash skin it's HER!  Rock that body there lady.. no wait.. that sounded wrong

I'm sure everyone at home wants a housewife built like a tank

Wait.. I don't want that idol.. I want to rock those abs...

all the cutesy women in the audience are having ab envy right now

NOW does she look familiar?  WAY back in 2003 she was in Kunoichi's final!

she's been training on the trampoline again

for those who don't remember she did friggin' awesome in Sasuke as well

and during the rare Sasuke 13 Trials she actually conquered the Warped Wall..

Granted she timed out.. but STILL that record stands today. The only woman to ever defeat the obstacle

Now she's a housewife with 2 kids

and here's the address for those who want to stalk her..

where she still goes to the gym to train that friggin' body of hers..

Still very pretty at 34

Mika Izumi er.. Mika Watanabe 渡邉美香

Kids.. you're adorable.. but mommy's gotta run .. and you are in my way..

Very happy to not fail the steps

onwards to the snail

ooooh.. foot comes off but she stays on!

Ooh.. not so lucky on the next rotation

Man.. I totally have to get her number.. wait.. she's sitting right behind me to my right..

Daughter strangely unaffected (LOL Ube now you got me saying that) and her son actually reacts!

Okay I'm totally having a cute attack!

so is everyone anxiously waiting for HER to get out of the pool??

MAD props for hanging on when she lost her footing

but she couldn't plant them right and ....

Down she went!

Mika Watanabe 渡邉美香 - Death by Rolling Escargot

LOL her kid saying some smart-Alec remark I'm sure

Which she just laughs at

PART FOUR