We have a new Sasuke opening!
Sasuke spoilerific review ;) Warning.. incoming blog of Sasuke 28.. if you don’t want to know.. you have been warned :D (Just remember.. the USA Broadcast of this.. will be.. well never possibly. I don't know if we will ever see it.. Yes.. you read that right.. Now with the death of G4 official and NBC not giving a damn about Sasuke Japan.. we may never see Sasuke Rising on US television (or any overseas country for that matter unless everyone buys the original 3 1/2 hour broadcast from TBS). For a preview of this event.. Please see SASUKE Rising (28) NAVI a 1 hour review of Sasuke Rising with fluff pieces of all the major players in the upcoming Sasuke and even a couple of runs that were cut from the official broadcast!
(Massive thanks to TBS for posting the names of all 100 competitors! Thanks to Ube for his help on the names in English!!)
Mendy Sekiguchi 関口メンディー from Generations (seems the announcer didn't quite know how to pronounce his name.. he used both Mendy and Mandy.. )
Seems we have yet another offshoot boy group from EXILE
This is him in the back row.. though box girl doesn't seem to approve
Box girl is not amused by his .. not sure how to describe how he dances.. epileptic fit?
Anyway .. wow he's tall.. LOL Look at how he dwarfs the snail!
K doing well albeit a little slow. He's eyeballing the landing
Dooooh he needs glasses.. he dismounted waaaay too early
Mendy Sekiguchi 関口メンディー Death by Rolling Escargot
Arata Horii 堀井新太 from D Date
Keeping with the boy band theme.. btw.. why D Date? Wouldn't you want an A Date? Seems the have low standards in Japan..
And a whining emo actor.. LOL
LOL and since he's so young they have to go when he's a baby to show he had martial arts training
and a former baseball player
Aaaand as usual when they have a long fluff piece before your run..
well... yeah.. it was longer than he lasted on the course.
lol he wasn't even close...
Arata Horii 堀井新太 of D Date - Death by Rolling Escargot
STQ'er land commenting on the idols dropping like flies btw.. take a drink twice? Descente gear
Shingo hanging out with the STQ'ers (yes that's Shinya in the middle there) with Kanno and Ryo
Shingo shrugging off the cold because he's too hot for a jacket
LOL difficult to tell on a screenshot but this guy is doing like 100 pushups really fast.. doesn't that usually mean they are going to run out of stamina before long?
(I'm hearing "hoto bun".. in my head)
Hiroyuki Gondou 権藤博幸 is a baker!
LOL he's STILL fidgeting with his clothing as the time just keeps ticking away
and again fidgeting with the elbow pads
and.. LOL he keeps getting that right foot off the foot guard
and again but he keeps managing to stay on!
LOL He jumps off!
But hits the water.. wait.. that's.. legal??
He's slllllliding off the last ball but manages to get across!
STQ'ers shocked the dude made it!
Yuuji stunned LOL
Dude.. we can totally save it if we fall there...
Comedians doing their job!
And again with the fidgeting!!!!
wtf was he even aiming at? He went straight up the middle!!!! There's NOTHING THERE!
...... why do we keep going back to the room? NO one wants to see this!
Wife and child are gutted
Here's the spectacular save
he just threw himself forward and was lucky he hit the mat
Folks.. there's an + sign there on purpose...
Makes no sense.. he didn't even bother going to either side..
WTF TAKEDA!!!!!!!!!!! Aahahahahhahahahahaha
I see Shingo couldn't take it anymore and got a jacket. He displayed his manliness long enough.
Meanwhile.. take a drink twice.. double Descente jackets (anyone hammered yet? LOL)
Sorry I'm still laughing at Takeda.. I mean.. he can rock 80's collars.. but seriously dude.. this is too far up!
Hiroyuki Gondou 権藤博幸 - Death by Jump Hang Kai
meanwhile a scene Featured in Navi - Yuuji lending support to Kouji
LOL who wants no part of that
Ah yes. The public display of his workplace location. Time for stalkers!
Sasuke 24 Finalist Kouji Hashimoto 橋本亘司
Now.. look at his record.. and look at her face.. that's MY face.. WHY was he demoted???
Seriously.. he should still be part of the New Generation.. he's been one for about 5 tourneys already.
You said it Nagano.. that's right.. I don't get it either.
Sasuke 24 Finalist Kouji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 - Former Gymnast and now
personal trainer Gym Instructor
I guess I should be happy though.. this is the first time his first stage run wasn't digested!!
assuming the classic position on the Rolling Escargot
I'm keeping the reactions to show how many times this stupid lady was shown.. I mean it's not her fault she's doing her job.. but seriously. THIS is not Sasuke.. take this crap out!
THIS however.. is Sasuke..
Your friends and fellow qualifier guys losing their marbles
Possibly passing kidney stones as well...
and Kanno practicing his all-star bend over in shame pose
Meanwhile trying to huddle to stay warm..
Nagano yelling into Shingo's ear
and.. AHahahhahahahahahah Takeda cheesing on the other end!
Nagano yelling Uso.. (no way) Shingo paralyzed, Yamada doing.. something.. and Takeda in hysterical laughter
GOD I've missed Takeda.. anyway.. looks like Nagano is questioning Takeda why the hell he's so far away from him and why is he breaking from the script
Takeda can't help himself while Yamada lecturing them as to how to properly appear sad while stoic at the same time
Shingo finally getting the joke and he busts into hysterical laughter
Nagano bending his head in shame.. or covering his laughter because now he's laughing with everyone else.. not sure which.. meanwhile Shingo saying inappropriate things again
Shingo with the hand in the cookie jar "busted" look.. Man I love these guys!
Meanwhile back in the water...
Kouji lamenting the fail
I mean he was HAULING across the obstacle
right from the get go he spins the first ball wildly which completely took his speed into it
Now he's starting to ricochet off the 3rd ball going backwards as he tried to stop himself
but it was too much momentum and too much lean.
Channeling my inner Marv Albert "Let's see that again"
So everyone now is analyzing what went wrong and doing their comments
Btw.. THIS is how you do picture and picture.. something going on ON the course.
and taking into account how not do this.. because of course.. Shingo knows how to botch it (cough.. Sasuke 27.. cough)
Let's see that again..
Group meeting commencing again...
Yeah.. right there.. that's where he lost it.. too fast spinning the first ball..
Yeah see? that's how not to do it..
Let's see that again this time with annoying box girl I want to blot out of my screen
I mean.. how does she contribute to watching?
and cue the reaction shot. I mean.. was she PAID to do this?
Awww man that sucks.. I mean he's part of us even if TBS doesn't care about him
Yuuji now worried since one of them failed the obstacle
And people of course starting to bitch that the
cannonball run spin bridge was way too early in the stage.. why? THIS is what it's supposed to do. Mission accomplished.
That's okay Kouji. I still love you!
Sasuke 24 Finalist Kouji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 - Death by Spin Bridge
So.. we have a figure skater with a bad leg wrapping technique..
Nice Spiral btw..
Wait.. she's a porn star? (Ube correcting me "idol")..
Oh good lord.. she's doing the cutesy "oh look at me".. gaaaaaaaah gag me gaaaaaaaaag me..
You know... it is said that when the idol thing doesn't work out they turn to porn. Seems she's starting that career early.. oh yeah sorry.. wtf is her name anyway.. do I care? Not really but here it is..
Rina Sawayama 澤山璃奈
What is with everyone using their nails on AstroTurf? is that even.. maybe felt. anyway.. ouch..
Oh there's a surprise..
And the reason why there was a camera on the Rolling Escargot..
I mean Rie was bigger in the rack department.. so this is what people like these days?
and my favorite part.. LOL
GO GO RAG-DOLL PHYSICS!
GO GO RAG-DOLL PHYSICS!
Awwwww she go down-a-hole..
and a reminder that it rained the week before (and day before) Sasuke.. all that mud.. mwahahahhahahaha
Let's see that again!
You know.. now that I think about it .. I must be a closet feminist or something.. because seriously..
Then again.. I'm not the target demographic now am I? LOL
Oh yeah.. now they have her lunging forward out of the water and onto mud..
and I'm sure secretly they want her to throw down with the announcer chick right now..
yay it's over.. and covered in mud..
Rina Sawayama 澤山璃奈 - Death by
male testosterone slow motion camera stalking.. er.. Rolling Escargot
Somehow.. that doesn't look appetizing..
Ha! that's the hat my father wears! ROFL Oh yeah sorry. name.. (searching)
Takashi Murakami 村上公志 Ube says he works for Yoshinoya!
And because we all know bringing a crap-load of people with you at the start-line rapidly increases your chances at failing..
again! With the nails! Ah.. Dentera..
wow that was fast..
group GAAAAAAAAAH moment (and no I don't want one of the hats)
Takashi Murakami 村上公志 - Death by Rolling Escargot
Nope.. the sign still isn't growing on me.. LOL Still looks like exploding puke to me!
Koki Someya 染谷幸喜 - Javelin dude?
Wait.. hurdles too. is he a decathlete? (Ube doesn't know either. Okay it's not just me) Anyway I'm laughing at how much he's slapping his face and jumping and yelling to psyche himself up!
Whoa he's tall too!
Safe landing off the snail
after watching a finalist fail.. he's taking his time here
WILD but cleared!
taking his time again before the Jump Hang
aaaaand HE CAUGHT IT!!!!!
Okay now there's a buzz in the air as we finally see this in action!
k he's using a lot of his feet
Wow that is a huge time sink
Nice! Easy clear of the first wall!
he elects to just jump down without using the pole
Aaaaaaa nice.. he's going to Takeda™ up the wall!
HE GOT IT!!!
Oh.. this is no good.. less than 20 and he still hasn't jumped!
There's no friggin' way...
Ugh. .time is red
Yeah.. there's no way
TIME FOR RAMEN!!!!!!!!
LOL A sponsor break IN a commercial break with the All-stars
Dude look at the time..
seriously.. look at the time..
he's not going to make it .. is he?
Yamada stop laughing look at the time..
LOOK AT THE TIME DAMMIT
he's not going to make it..
WTF LOOK AT THE TIME I SAY DAMN YOU!
Shingo: yeah yeah stop bitching.. I'm looking at the time
Yamada: He's going to time out and I'm going to laugh
Takeda: Honestly don't know why you are expending energy.. he's going to time out don't waste your breath
Yamada: Alright alright I'm looking at the time
Yamada: See? there.. I looked at the time
Shingo: uuuuugh that sucks.. to get that close hurts..
Takeda: Poor bastard.. whoever you are..
meanwhile back from commercials and Dude is HAULING UP THAT RIGGING
WILLING his body up that wall...
but he's on the OTHER side of the walkway!
ALMOST DECAPITATES HIMSELF!
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNGE DAMN YOU!!!!!!
he's not sure.. the gate is not up.. Damn.. did I not hit the button?
Wait lemme go back.. ooooh the gates..
Nagano yelling into Shingo's ear so much that Shingo is moving away from him..
Takeda: Chill dude he's going to time out
Shingo: who is this guy anyway?
Akiyama: anyone want to tell me wtf is going on? I can't see jack
Yamada: but he's not going to make it .. so pipe down..
Shingo: I'm going deaf....
Nagano: YES YES (furious bouncing in his seat but too damn cold to take his hands out of his pocket)
Akiyama: Share the news bud I can't see!!
Takeda: ahahahahah Nagano is losing his mind.. that poor bastard is going to fail
Shingo: I think I can still hear from my right ear.. say something Yamada
Yamada: damn I think Nagano is right.. he might make it.
Takeda: Well Damn.. he made it after all
Yamada: See? I told you he'd make it!
Nagano: Look at the time!!
Akiyama: everyone's freaking out so I guess he passed?
Shingo: I still can't hear but I think I'm feeling a tingly sensation in there..
Nagano: LOOK AT THE TIME
Akiyama: I don't know why I'm clapping can someone PLEASE tell me what happened?
Takeda: Hurray... I think..
Takeda: Hurray... I think..
Akiyama: Dude.. help a blind man out.. wtf just happened
Nagano: Some dude we don't know just passed stage 1 with less than a second on the clock!
Akiyama: Hoooooo! I've done that before! That's friggin' awesome!
Nagano: Hot dog!
and there was much rejoicing
and the box girl is secretly an chihuahua and her eyes are popping out of her skull
because they are being paid to do so.. hurray..
Oh yeah.. 44 down.. 1 clear!
less than a second baby!!!
Let's see that again as everyone now is paying attention to someone who actually CAUGHT one of the sides
and caught BOTH wall ledges on the first try
and NEVER GAVE UP!
almost decapitating himself
LOL Cameramen running for safety
Yeah yeah.. I knew he'd pass.. really.. I was convinced!
That's awesome baby! I willed him up!
Koki Someya 染谷幸喜 - FIRST STAGE CLEAR!
PREPARE TO FAST FORWARD!
Kumu Suzuki 鈴木久夢 - Death by Spin Bridge
Kazutaka Miyazawa 宮澤和隆 - Death by Rolling Escargot
and he had it!
Yasuhiro Yamazaki 山崎泰宏 - Death by Jump Hang Kai
oooooh he is slipping off the last ball..
fell on the mat.. but...
bah.. couldn't hang on and just slid down..
Kei Masaki 正木圭 - Death by Spin Bridge
Koki Someya 染谷幸喜 is waiting for everyone in the Second Stage!
and here he is in the studio audience!
Where he's within smacking distance of the guys who thought he would fail! Shingo hanging his head in shame won't turn around to see him face to face..
Now let's look at the replica of the Rolling Escargot and make fun of the people who failed on it..
Yep.. how was your failure Comedian Yoshio Kojima 小島よしお?
.. yay.. it's the prostitot..
Rina Sawayama 澤山璃奈
Apparently he's reaaaaaaaaally into staring at her boobs.. he loves that camera angle..
Thank you thank you.. I can show you more after the show!
awkward.. I'm staring at some chick's boobs and men are laughing...
clearly box girl is humiliated listening right now
and then shocked as he wants to grab her body coming out of the water and onto mud that pervert..
Speaking of primal heat..
Joji Amano 天野ジョージ
box girl is horrified that we are in the red light district
and apparently this passes for music these days
aaaaand still can't figure out a way to stay on this thing but he's trying..
now he's ground it to a complete halt and seems to be going backwards!
and.. WTF IS HE DOING.. he's trying to move the thing backwards by dismounting it in mid air?
Joji Amano 天野ジョージ - Death by
stupidity.. er.. Rolling Escargot