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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Sasuke 30 Spoilerific Review - Part 7

Sasuke spoilerific review ;) Warning.. incoming blog of Sasuke 30.. if you don’t want to know.. you have been warned ( ^ . ^ ) (Just remember.. there is NO USA Broadcast of this. NBC has renegotiated out of their contract to show Sasuke on USA soil. Yes.. you read that right.. Now with the death of G4 official and NBC not giving a damn about Sasuke Japan, we will never see Sasuke Rising on US television (or any overseas country for that matter unless everyone buys the original 4 hour broadcast from TBS). For a preview of this event, please see SASUKE 30 NAVI an hour preview of Sasuke Rising with a review of the Sasuke ASEAN Open Cup and fluff pieces of all the major players in the upcoming Sasuke. There were even a couple of runs that were cut from the official broadcast! I'm taking my time on the blogs. I'm still getting cluster headaches during the day so I have to pace myself when I do these blogs.

(Massive thanks to TBS for posting the names of all 100 competitors!  Thanks to Ube for his help on the names in English!!)

 And we're.. wait.. Takeda is next?

 Uhm.. Hello... what happened to No. 2974 Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一?

In case you are wondering.. ISHIKAWA IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM..

Sasuke All-Stars being all blunt with each other. LOL Takeda basically doing the "Follow me" grunt that they usually do to psyche themselves up.  Nagano specifically saying he won't follow Takeda if it means following him to a fail.

Even Takeda can't argue with that. His record lately suuuuuuuuuuuucks..

Sorry I'm really distracted by the fact that they inexplicably cut Ishikawa. Do we even know WHERE he failed? I don't think I've ever seen this before.. TBS cutting a fail from existence in the 2nd stage as if he wasn't there at all.. I mean not even a photo saying "oh he failed here".

Anyway back to Takeda sucking in Sasuke 28

And then again in Sasuke 29

Okay.  I wasn't sure how they were going to deal with the Takeda situation on the show which up to now was only known to those who follow his private Facebook account.  No matter how you look at this situation, now that it's out in the open, it's a complicated and sad story to report. Takeda has had a huge change of life just recently.  It's been brewing for about 3 years and I've been seeing a steady fall ever since.  The short, simple answer about his previous employment is that he's now officially retired from everything tied to Heavy Rescue. That includes Fire Fighting and Helicopter rescue.  So while Takeda has been Mr. Orange Pants for 10 years, that persona is now officially gone.

BTW that is SASUKE サスケ written in the sand.

I present to you the poster boy for "mid-life crisis".

In addition to divorcing his family (i.e. read up on what I've been saying about what happens in Japan during Divorce (and children stuck in the crossfire) then use your deduction skills to figure out why I'm upset), he radically changed careers. He is now as Kaatsu Instructor and moved 700 miles away.

He had a very brief stint in some wellness center in Kitakyushu of which he is no longer public about so I'll be moving on as well.

There he uhm.. hmm.. 

he's now single.. right?

Moving on because I had like 30 different captions of which I really shouldn't be posting on the internet. LOL

So it seems now that he is moving on and opening a place of his own in the same prefecture?

Seems like it. For a while I wasn't sure where he was living as he kept moving around all of Japan for about a period of roughly 8 months.  All of this was/is chronicled in his private Facebook page so I'll leave it as that.  Again, TBS must have had a hard time trying to figure out what to report about his current status. Given that Takeda is walking them around the new place and allowed that his divorce and employment status be public.. I'm a little surprised actually.

If this is indeed his new place of work, I wish him luck.  He's in a really dark place right now.  I commend him for taking the bull by the horns, addressing the elephant in the room and just announcing it on TBS of the changes in his life (and ultimately his fluff pieces since he is still a Sasuke All-Star) and moving on. It could have lingered for months with people whispering about what is going on in the background. Now it's just "okay this is what it is and now let's move on".

Anyway with that out of the way.. 11 people went (even if we only saw 10...) and 3 clears.

Sasuke All-Star Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩

Btw for those doing the math at home, he hasn't been in the 2nd Stage in 4 years.

Clear on Cross Slider

And onto the Swap Salmon Ladder

Clear on first jump

Stunned silence

Nagano getting a migraine...

Shingo trying to stifle a smile

I'm sure Nagano is reliving that comment of "unless it's following a fail"

I'm out right?  Yep.. you are out..

My stance on this. If they are going to use this rule.. REMOVE THE LANDING BAR.. because otherwise it's just stupid.  Before if you landed on an angle the lower bar would just catch the pole and very few people had the strength to muscle up to the bar above (Nagano and Kong did this a lot in the past). If the catch bar wasn't there.. they'd just fall in the water.

However, to make people try to avoid something that is physically there is just stupid.  I know it's a technical issue where they couldn't get that first jump bar to retract without making the whole obstacle glitch.  So my case is REMOVE IT.  The whole obstacle.  I find the Swap Salmon Ladder to be boring as hell anyway. I'd rather watch paint dry.

So just like Nagano, I'm just frustrated at the ludicrous rule tied to the Swap Salmon Ladder. The rule hasn't changed, and I didn't like it even before Sasuke 30.  It's just a poorly designed boring obstacle. They should have just allowed others to muscle up since the bar is THERE anyway.  Why penalize them on a technicality? It's not their fault TBS couldn't design a functioning obstacle.

Classic Nagano: "Mottainai" もったいない "What a waste" or basically "That's a shame wasted potential on a mistake like that".

Sasuke All-Star Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩 - Death by Technical failure on Swap Salmon Ladder

LOL he doesn't even say much but he sounds like Jimmy Durante..

So.. is he the only man to ever fail all 3 versions of the Salmon Ladder?

Oh boy.. hot pants is up.. I hope he's wearing underwear this time..
Comedian Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君

 Ohhh he looks in trouble BIG time...

Glad it's dark.. otherwise we'd be seeing free willy right now...

And before the commercial break we saw this shot

And it was Wakky watching Kinnikun fail

Makes Jin's fail look a whole lot better doesn't it?
Comedian Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君 - Death by Cross Slider

 13 down still just 3 clears

Up next is the only hairy-chested man in all of Japan..
Wakky ワッキー 

LOL Look at that determined face!

Safe clear on Cross Slider

Clear on first Jump

Didn't Takeda™ this jump so he's cleared

Oh.. Straight armed that next jump

yeah.. I saw that coming a mile away..

A veeeeeery frustrated Wakky ワッキー  - Death by Swap Salmon Ladder

Oh wow! We see more than 3 seconds of Koki Someya 染谷幸喜!

Clear on Cross Slider

On the Swap Salmon Ladder.. WITH THE WRONG HANDHOLD...

yeah... that's why you don't do a pipe slider grip like that on a JUMPING obstacle...

Koki Someya 染谷幸喜 - Death by Swap Salmon Ladder

aaaaaaaand.. FAST FORWARD AGAIN????? WTF...

Shunsuke Nagasaki 長崎峻侑 I'm so sorry TBS hates you.


Filling in the role of Kouji Hashimoto today for double Fast Forward clears is Shun!

okay I'm now officially frustrated.. WHY was he fast forwarded twice?

It's been 7 years since he's qualified for the 3rd Stage and he was relegated to a damn digest.

Shunsuke Nagasaki 長崎峻侑 - SECOND STAGE CLEAR

That's okay Shun. We still love you! Pray harder.

Another one getting the double digest.. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ

Hmm.. that's close.. does he have enough juice?

CLEAR!  See? Why couldn't we see all of this? It's exciting!

Just like Hioki before him.. he's physically spent.

All-stars are happy!

LOL Team Taiwan incorporating Jin (who's Taiwanese/American) is losing their marbles

LOL I'm having issues trying to keep the girls from blurring.

I love the having kittens™ photos!

Nagano can't stop smiling

I'm sure that's making Shingo nervous (given how close of a time Lee had as well)

Lee En Chi リー・エンチ - SECOND STAGE CLEAR!

He's still sucking wind.

Keeping with the foreigner love here we have Drew!

Longer Fluff piece so we won't get his run digested!

TBS actually visiting him! (taking advantage they were already in the USA for the ANW Special)

Drew showing his hardware from the Sasuke ASEAN Open Cup.

He won everything ever! Swept individual golds (3 of them), Team Gold and MVP Trophy (Team Gold Captain)

More footage from the gym (not shown in Navi)

Okay that was totally badass.. He backwards jumped about 3 ledges to get to this position then jumped across the other side of the salmon ladder. LOL!

Drew Dreschel ドリュー・ドレッシェル

But wait there's commercials!  (seriously you should be trained by now)

And we are back and he clears the Cross Slider

Clears the Swap Salmon Ladder

Clears the ghetto UB

Prepares for the Spider Walk part

Now for the drop part.. I mean we saw this in the commercials.. does he fail after it???


Ooooooh hang on.. hang on..  and yes this is why they call it the Spider Drop

PHEW!  He recovers!

So yeah they have a camera guy under the bridge there.. LOL

See that poor guy? LMFAO

No issues on the Backstream

Making awesome time!

Yes he lifts then scoots under!

2nd wall clear

And 3rd wall clear!

Rebel Yell!

Jin and Mike yelling encouragement!

And he clears! (That's Team Taiwan's Liao with the fan signed shirt! - Smart man..)

Drew Dreschel ドリュー・ドレッシェル - SECOND STAGE CLEAR!

Morimoto in frame but Asa is the one getting interviewed.

Asa being told "hey you have to beat that time bro!".. Notice how uncomfortable Asa looks now.. ahahhahahahaha

Reporter chick loving how powerful he is.. mmmmm look at that girl's smile...

Thank you! That's what I do!

Reporter telling him he has the fastest time! Drew totally not taking the bait

Drew just saying he's not going for fastest time he just happy to get to the 3rd Stage. He expects his time not to hold up with the upcoming people.

Nagano:  Okay.. now.. you aren't going to suck right?

Nagano: Like this guy.. right? Don't follow this guy...

Shingo: Okay I won't! I promise I won't fail as boringly as Takeda did! I have my own style!


Sasuke All-Star Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟

Lemme explain.. no wait it will take too much time, lemme sum up.  Shingo is the Sasuke Hamster.
He.. cannot stop himself from moving. He has to always be in motion.

Dude is now a manager of an Auto Repair shop, manages 4 gas stations...

He also has a couple of hotels he's managing overseas AND Opening up a gym soon. I should be calling him Hey Mon!

Hilarious set of photos of Shingo being tossed in the air by his Team Japan teammates in the Sasuke ASEAN Open Cup. He was the de facto Captain.

They almost drop him on his head!!!!

Shingo laughing it off but I think it's adrenaline.

Dude.. did you catch that on tape? They almost killed me!

Shingo: I live!!!!!!
Morimoto: It wasn't me!

Oooooh TBS trying to make him all dramatic.

Holding his breath trying to focus.

19 down and 6 cleared!

Breathe Shingo.. Breathe..

Yay cleared!

Yay! Beat Takeda!

Yay didn't fail!

Okay.. how is he going to fail this...

Oh.. careful.. careful..

Holy crap he made it! barely!

Nagano: Okay.. this is where things are going to go pear shaped..
Takeda: I'm surprised he didn't fall backwards there!

Shingo: ME TOO!

And returning to the site of his demise in 29 and so far so good!

Shingo ... uhm.. stopped..  and is hacking..

meanwhile.. in Nico Nico Land™

Shingo can't even watch and Ryo is trying to stiffle laughter..

Now he's cackling..

Ryo saying WTF..  (literally)

Takeda: Called it!
Nagano: I called dibs first..

Shingo's wife Eiko 英子 yelling Shin-Chan and I can't help but think of ... him.. which oddly enough.. fits if you really think about it.

Now the Shingo embarrassed laugh is in full force.

Dude you need help?

No I'm good. I'm dying but it's from humiliation right now.  Thanks bro!

Nagano: Seriously.. we should get him checked..
Takeda: My fail doesn't look so bad right now does it?

Nagano: I mean seriously.. they always do this to me.. You've seen it too right?
Kenji: Seriously though.. Shingo's got issues.
Takeda: why isn't anyone talking to me....

Takeda: I'm always ignored.. like I don't .. wait.. I failed already..
Nagano: I mean.. "I" can't count on them.. and now on "me" to save them .. again! wtf..
Kenji: Dude that's why I didn't want to be an All-star..

Takeda: Haha! That makes you the smart one!
Kenji: I have my own issues.. they caught me trying to kill Shingo on that body toss.. I almost got away with it too.. damn cameras.. and witnesses..
Nagano: Ha! I was there and wasn't video taped. I'll give you pointers on how to hide later! Love your style just gotta refine that technique!

Shingo's wife Eiko 英子 is my hero. She is saying exactly what is on my mind!

Shingo watching his wife's response to his epic fail.

Just man up and swallow some water!

Fans worldwide agree! LMFAO
Ryo's laughing so hard he can't even breathe.

Shingo explaining what happened.  He inhaled when he went in the water and guzzled water. It made him choke since he was already tired from the previous obstacles. So he felt the jets on his face and thought if he continued with no breathe he'd drown and/or suffocate. He's really embarrassed though and profusely apologized both on camera and on Facebook later.

Sasuke All-Star Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟 - Death by Shingo™ Backstream

Time for a very subdued 2-Time Champion.  From what I hear, he wanted the low profile. I can't fault him. Not everyone knows what to do with that kind of pressure.

2-Time Grand Champion Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治

Clear on both Cross Slider and Swap Salmon Ladder

Ghetto Bridge™

His turn on the Spider Drop



LOL he's so happy to get past this obstacle!

After months of training.. here he goes... takes his time though.. no doubt.. I can't swim..

He's doing great but a lot of time is just.. gone...

Lifting the goggles so he can see..

Lifts the first wall but it's not going up that much..

Ryo is now stunned at what he is seeing..

Yuuji is literally crumbling before our eyes.. he can't lift the first wall..

So he tries to shove his body under so  he can clear it.

Even then he times out under the wall. He's physically wasted.

Ryo up next can't believe what he just saw.

Cursing and yelling right now..

Yuuji can't believe what's going on right now. He also can't breathe.

That can't instill confidence on Morimoto right now..

2-Time Grand Champion Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治 - Death by Time up on Wall Lifting



GTONeko said...

Argh!!! Only Shingo can "Shingo" himself as much as he does. X3 It's the first time I've heard about Takeda's situation in depth outside the boards, and I personally wish the best for his endeavors, wherever it may take him.

In any case, great job for this next portion for Stage 2. Definitely had some funny and great captions for it all. Especially with Shingo's wife's face just saying it all for her disappointment. X3

BTW, as soon as you mentioned the "Shin-chan" moment, I too had the same thought almost instantly. :p

Unknown said...

"Cursing and yelling right now.."
Ryo is turning into Levi Meeuenberg 2.0. First he said "What the heck (Not in those words)" during Shingo's epic fail, and something else I didn't see, him cussing before his turn.

jetfan123 said...

Ryo and Shunsuke are Levi 2.0. Also, Kosuke Yamaguchi failed Wall Lift and Terekazu made to stage 3 and went out on the crazy cliffhanger, but was cut from the broadcast. Also, Shingo could have made it to Stage 3, had he not been an idiot! Also, I hate the Swap Salmon Ladder andits rule, the original salmon ladder and double salmon ladder were more fun to watch.

Arsenette said...

LOL Neko! I'm happy I wasn't the only one that thought of THAT Shinchan whenever I hear Eiko call her husband. Though seriously.. that's what Eiko said so that makes it 10x funnier :D

Jon they've been cursing on the show for a looooooong time. Just not a lot of people know the words. LOL!! And yeah the cursing after Yuuji's run was pretty clear. Surprised they kept that in the broadcast.

Not entirely sure what you guys mean about Levi 2.0.

Also, Ishikawa wasn't in the 3rd stage so not sure what you are referring to.

Agreed on Shingo and the first two Salmon Ladders.

Unknown said...

What I mean by Levi 2.0 is...remember SASUKE 2009 Fall (23) and 2010 Spring (25)?

Arsenette said...

I do but.. the Japanese have been cursing in Sasuke for longer than the Americans from G4 have been on the show. LOL