Sasuke 26 - Spoilerific Review - Part 5

SASUKE 26!!

PART FIVE

(PART ONE) (PART TWO) (PART THREE) (PART FOUR)

Sasuke spoilerific review ;) Warning.. incoming blog of Sasuke 26.. if you don’t want to know.. you have been warned :D Thanks to everyone for being so patient. Got sick with cluster headaches again this year.. not during Sasuke 26 but just right after.. so this blog is late .. Anyway.. For a preview of this event.. Please see SASUKE 26 NAVI 1 hour review of Sasuke 26 with fluff pieces of all the major players in the upcoming Sasuke and even a couple of runs that were cut from the official broadcast!. Oh.. and as Ube says: If you are from the G4 Forums, DON'T POST THIS THERE. They expect everyone to stick their head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist.. P.S. I will NOT be covering ANW2 on this blog. Thanks!

UBE'S Sorta-LIVE-BLOG FOR SASUKE 26 IS HERE!

(Massive thanks to Ube for his help on the names in English and Japanese of all the competitors!!)

and now for Daisuke and his amazing hair.. net..

He's Mistah Handbol! (he plays Handball as a pro)

And is the only 3-time Defending champion of Sportsman #1 (which I'm still angry they didn't have a tournament this year.. )

He's made it to the 2nd stage.. (actually 3rd.. but I'm digressing)

LOL.. most people put their last name on there.. he has his first!

And voted #3 in the "scientific" Top 10 invented ZOMG they will totally Kanzenseiha list that random people picked from pictures they recognized on a board of pictures.. - Daisuke Miyazaki 宮﨑 大輔

Using the swing he doesn't need to grab the rope

Onwards to the Rolling Escargot

Whoah.. major problems..

Oh.. but even correcting himself the last time didn't help.. down he goes!

Naoto not happy

Neither is Nagano and Lee

There goes any Japanese momentum... Wait.. Lee isn't.. oh nvm he's a fan

Daisuke Miyazaki 宮﨑 大輔 - Death by Rolling Escargot

Going on that happy momentum.. oh boy...

Time to play with his shoes for half an hour.. (hmm.. notice the picture.. I guess this was taken at another time? There goes TBS inventing things again)

Naoto having himself a coronary waiting for his turn

Awww.. Daisuke looks.. crushed..

TBS replaying the first near miss..

But his butt was sticking out too far and the faster this thing went the more energy outwards pulled his legs out from underneath him

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

So Mr. Sasuke.. you saw someone just suck.. how do you feel?

Wow.. he's all .. shiny and stuff from Sasuke Spray.. Dude.. light spray works.. don't have to bathe in it..

TBS guy is now talking about how does it feel to be here because the other 3 All-Stars couldn't make it?

LOL Nagano isn't even paying attention and staying the heck away from that question.. LOL

Take a drink.. Mr. Sasuke Crying..

Showing what his old job before he was fired was...

Current job selling hotdogs.. sorry.. it's beer.. just funnier when it's hotdogs..

TBS adores doing this.. time to replay the Suckitude replay.. this should take about 10 minutes... This was Sasuke 14

Yeah.. TBS again replaying this reminding you in big bold letters that he FAILED 11 STRAIGHT TIMES!!!!!!!!!!

With a backdrop of his Stage 1 fails.. they got 11 to chose from..

and.. the last time he was in Sasuke.. Sasuke 24.. you know.. the previous tournament.. no wait.. there was one before.. hmm.. TBS doesn't like mentioning that one since no one saw it..

And because I'm sure TBS was waiting for it.. Yamada writes a tearful letter to beg to come back to Sasuke

He's showing his determination by fixing his aging warped wall

But.. the real reason why he's here.. Akiyama is missing

And Takeda...

And Shiratori

So he is back because it would totally suck to just have 2 All-Stars show up.. and TBS loves groveling.. no seriously.. they do..

Dramatic.. no idea wtf it says but boy they love pulling out the drama with him

LOL they look enthused.. nice to see Lee there to fill out the group. He is after all a huge and legitimate Yamada fan IRL

Voted Number #1 (yes.. 1.. ) in the "scientific" Top 10 invented ZOMG they will totally Kanzenseiha list that random people picked from pictures they recognized on a board of pictures.. is Sasuke All-Star MISTER SASUKE (previously Mr. Banzuke but I'm totally digressing..) .. Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己

Actually showing speed as he clears the Step Slider

Takes a swing on the Hazard Swing

Mounting the Rolling Escargot (I already lost the bet.. I had him down on the Hazard Swing.. yes .. yes.. I know)

And.. he also stops it...

Slowly comes off the Rolling Escargot..

Nagano yelling encouragement

and.. Yamada setting up the reason for his fail.. he does this all the time...

And why do I think he's faking it? History.. he does this all the time.. then miraculously walks around like nothing happened when the cameras are off.. sorry.. but I don't believe this one either..

Facing his nemesis..

Wow he actually got it..

Nevermind.. brain engaged.. down he goes..

and the crowd... is not that majorly surprised.. LOL

Nagano yelling encouragement as .. LOL Look where Shingo is standing..

Nagano all intense..

Phew okay.. he made it (so he thinks..)

wtf... why is everyone screaming..

Oh bloody hell not again..

S.. O. B... what am I going to do with him?

Geez.. I got a migraine now.. I have to listen to his phone calls now for the next few months.. provided there is one.. omg no if there are no more Sasuke's I'm going to change my phone..

Okay okay.. did he drown? LOL Notice Shingo hasn't really moved.. he could care less... or knew it was coming.. probably the latter.. or a little of both..

and.. hmm.. seems TBS is taking pictures out of cue again.. wtf is on the screen?

Hey.. pssst.. look dramatic.. someone failed.. we'll edit this in later..

Oh that's so terrible.. (pssst.. nice job... here's the fiver I was promising..)

Meanwhile.. this man needs a lobotomy.. he's perfectly capable of doing this.. provided he's not thinking..

While I can fault him for being dramatic.. he probably is legitimately crushed..

He'd have to write another letter..

meanwhile.. Naoto is laughing his head off.. he's up to 12 in a row!

TBS showing his rerun of the amazing feat he managed.. staying on this thing when his leg came off the obstacle.. I mean.. he made it stop..

There I thought he was taking a bath...

Everything seems fine here...

And.. he sticks it...

Then.. just .. folds his body back and down.. weird.. again.. lobotomy.. it'll help him.. seriously..

Though if you want to get technical he officially DQ'ed since he touched the mat before falling in the water... but I'll say Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己 - Death by Jumping Spider.. again..

Yikes.. that poor reporter chick doesn't want to be there..

I .. friggin' had it... wtf...

Well.. another thing to have nightmares about.. sucks considering he conquered it the last time he was here..

Will this be the last you see of him?

Quit smiling you dork..

Showing the red button as if he's going to make it.. maybe they are mocking him.. hmmmmmm

and.. omg yes.. they did this.. Voted Number #4 in the "scientific" Top 10 invented ZOMG they will totally Kanzenseiha list that random people picked from pictures they recognized on a board of pictures.. Mr. NHK himself.. Sato Hiromichi 佐藤弘道 (cough.. he's posing like he does in his latest commercial.. /facepalm)

Dude was 41 years old when he shocked the crap out of me and passed the first stage....

But he ate the Metal Spin..

Familycam™

LMFAO.. is his son CHOKING himself? Maybe he DOES believe in the Combobreaker theory..

Uses the swing on the Hazard Swing

DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.. I lost this bet too.. I totally suck.. I had him failing this.. /facepalm.. I'll eat my shoe if he passes the Giant Swing...

LOL his son must have lost that bet too.. his wife however sleeps with him so she better be happy for him.. LOL

YEEEEEEEES.. I mean.. Noo... ahahahhahah sorry.. I can't stand this guy

Apparently TBS doesn't either.. they gave him an overhead view!

Wife and MM teammate in Rie are devastated

Meanwhile I LOVE his son.. he's a sadist! (and all his friends behind him too! LOL)

Sato Hiromichi 佐藤弘道 - Death by Jumping Spider!

Oh.. that was quick.. need to get ready..

.. he seems so lost with Takeda.. sorry..

He's.. not looking so .. happy..

Meeeeeh.. he's channeling the Sasuke 19 bad mojo...

Speaking of Mojo.. here comes Naoto

TBS giving him like half an hour and all the fluff and side shots.. and conversation shots.. and set up shots.. anything to milk this run as long as possible...

Oh yeah.. opps.. replays of Sato sucking

Though I have to commend him.. I can't do a split.. well.. without screaming and going to the hospital...

Okay we are back .. and the lesser guys from EXILE (are they all J Soul Brothers)?

Aahahahahha taking time to strangle him before his run...

Well in the absence of Takeda I'll take a mini caning ritual.. haven't seen one at all this entire tournament..

Take.. THAT!

wtf that hurt...

Whoops.. she doesn't seem to enthused either.. anyway Sato Hiromichi 佐藤弘道 - Gone!

PART SIX